Love Yourself First

October 23, 2013

Categories: Lifestyle, Wedding


I’ve wanted to write one of these posts for so long… But I felt that I needed to wait until I was at the next stage in my relationship.  Getting advice from someone who is engaged rather than dating seems a lot more legit, right??

This post is for all the single women out there.  I want to encourage you to appreciate this time in your life.  It is essential for you as a person and for your future relationship.  I know, I know… You’re thinking, ‘Means a lot coming from someone who isn’t single.’  But just hear me out.

Sometimes I hear people talking about wanting to be in a relationship or feeling badly about being single… And I worry.  I’m concerned that women don’t appreciate that crucial time in their lives and appreciate the freedom that comes with it.  So many people get caught up in wanting a wedding and the parties and the dress… But they don’t think about the important process that comes before that.

I had always been someone who enjoyed being single… I loved spending time with all my girlfriends, I loved not cooking for someone and having cereal for dinner instead, and I loved being able to do whatever I wanted on a Saturday afternoon.  Sometimes my girlfriends and I would go out and give fake numbers to 10 guys at the bar.  Sometimes I stayed in sweatpants for the entire weekend and I loved not having to explain why I hadn’t washed my hair in 2 days.  Sometimes I stayed in on the weekend just to read a great book.  It felt great and glorious and free.

Don’t take that the wrong way… I would absolutely give my life for J.  He is my soulmate and I still can’t believe that I’ve been blessed with a man like him.  The bond we have is astounding… I’ve never felt anything like it.  When he hurts, I hurt.  When he’s happy, I’m happy.  He makes me a better person every single day.  But what I’m trying to say is… It took all those single days and weeks and months to get to this point. 

During my single time as an adult I learned so much about myself and about what I wanted and needed in a future spouse.  I learned that I have an inner nerd always fighting to get out, that my blog is my proudest creation yet, and that I’ve always wanted a man who values family as much as I do.  I had to learn and understand so much about myself before I was ready to be in a committed relationship.  J says the exact same thing.

So… From my experience… Here’s a few things you should do while you’re single:

  • Foster your relationships with your friends.  Learn from them and grow with them.  Have Skype dates with a glass of wine and send each other snail mail letters.
  •  Go shopping and buy yourself something amazing.  Just because.
  • Teach yourself a new language, even if you’ll never use it.
  •  Go to the bookstore and stock up on some books.  Spend the weekend tucked in with a cup of tea and pages upon pages of adventures.
  • Grab a girlfriend and go on a roadtrip somewhere completely random.  Stay at motels and eat at cheesy trucker diners.  Take photos the entire way and send your friends silly postcards.
  • Spend an afternoon going to local museums or exhibits.  Take your time, read all the displays, and learn as much as you can.
  •  Bake something delicious and take it to a relative you haven’t visited in a while.  When life gets busier, you’ll be glad you did.
  •  Find a new hobby you love, and foster it.  Scrapbooking, photography, painting, singing, model cars, playing a new instrument, or even pro video gaming.
  • Volunteer.  Find a school that needs a tutor or help with the kids at your local Boys & Girls Club.  Serve meals at your local homeless shelter.  Help with Habitat For Humanity.  Give back.
  • Take a trip somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.  Europe, Asia, Australia.  Pack a guidebook and explore.
 
Enjoy your time focusing on you.  Be yourself.  Learn.  Grow.  Become a better person.  One day you’ll be walking along being your wonderful, sparkly self and you’ll meet someone incredible.  And… If you meet this Someone Incredible doing one of the things you love or something fun or mindblowing or kind… Isn’t that so much better than meeting someone at a bar??  I think so.  Your chances of being happy will increase tenfold.
 
via

When you meet the person you know you can’t live another day without, let them enjoy the incredible, independent person you’ve become.  But don’t forget to keep a bit of that single girl spunk in your heart… Take a day trip with friends every once in a while, make time to continue to grow as a person.

And that’s my two cents… If it matters.  Focus on yourself, and the right person will come along.


  1. Arielle says:
    October 23, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Omgosh I absolutely LOVE this post. So what I needed to hear! I graduated college in May and am going to law school next year, and even though I am really excited… someone said a quote the other day and it has been driving me crazy! they said "if you don't meet your husband in college it becomes so much harder." Haha but I so agree that it's so important to learn and discover yourself and have fun when your single, I just needed a reminder!

    • Miss B. Leigh says:
      October 30, 2013 at 7:21 pm

      That statement about meeting in college is absolutely not true!!! You change SO much in your 20's… Especially after college. Enjoy law school… That's where I met my fiance and some of my best friends. Enjoy every minute and have fun with your law school friends – it's a crazy ride!! 🙂

  2. Megan R. says:
    October 23, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    Great reminder! I totally agree. "Focus on yourself, and the right person will come along." I did that, and met my husband not too long after. xoxo

  3. Kym Fox @ Travel Babbles | Living the (hockey) Life says:
    October 24, 2013 at 12:00 am

    "Grab a girlfriend and go on a roadtrip somewhere completely random. Stay at motels and eat at cheesy trucker diners. Take photos the entire way and send your friends silly postcards." I LOVE THIS!

  4. rmbloom says:
    October 24, 2013 at 3:01 am

    I love everything about this post so much. Thanks for writing it, Brittany! I feel exactly the same way and love how you summed it all up. This definitely should be your proudest creation because it's become such a wonderful and creative blog that I always enjoy reading! Keep up the good work 🙂 -Rachel

  5. Maura says:
    October 30, 2013 at 2:50 am

    love EVERYTHING about this post. for the most part i love this single time of my life and i know it's so short compared to the rest of it but sometimes it feels that all people want to ask about who I'm dating and when I'm going to settle down so this was nice reminder. thanks girl!

    • Miss B. Leigh says:
      October 30, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      Ugh!! I totally remember that time… In law school it seemed like EVERY time I was around family they'd ask who "the special guy" was. Tell them that YOU are the special person in your life!!! Everything happens for a reason… And everything happens at the right time.

Engaged

October 10, 2013

Categories: Wedding


On Tuesday October 8th my boyfriend changed my life by proposing to me.  I said YES, and have been in a state of absolute bliss ever since.
 
I waited until we had called both our families before posting anything on social media last night.  Being a blogger my life is so public… But this is something very special, meaningful, and personal to me so it has actually been difficult for me to decide whether or not to share it.
 
There are so many details in our story, so ultimately I decided this was a perfect way to let our family and friends in on our engagement.
 
But first, let’s start at the beginning…
 

How We Met

J moved in down the street from me when he came to law school in Omaha.  I was speeding up the street one day and I nearly hit him with my car as he was walking home with dinner.  Most guys would have labeled me as the neighborhood psycho but instead John told me he thought, “Wow.  She’s beautiful!”  He didn’t know until later that I would be going to law school with him.
 
I had seen J at law school orientation and then again at our first mixer.  But my first real, vivid memory of him was in class… I immediately noticed that he was tall and handsome, but what I loved and continue to love most about him to this day are his kind, sweet eyes.  As I packed up my books after class one day I remember thinking, “He just looks so nice.”  For some reason, I wanted to trust him immediately.
 
We spent time together, but both of us had a lot of growing up to do before we got into a committed relationship.  I wanted to focus on law school and I was the type of person who really needed to study to make it through.  So we went our separate ways, dated other people, but we always kept in contact.  We would text each other and J would often bring my favorite Hot Tamales to me when he knew I was staying in and studying.  There was just something about him.
 
I look back on this time and sometimes am sad that I was such an idiot and didn’t realize that such a wonderful guy was just down the street… But I trust in God’s plan and I know He was waiting for both of us to grow up and become the people we needed to be for one another.
 
J asked me to a car show our 3L year of law school.  It was meant to be a casual afternoon looking at cars but we had so much fun together that we decided to extend the date and go to dinner.  We spent our 90 minute wait at the restaurant talking about our families, law school, our future careers, and our lives.


Just Us

I saw a different J in those 90 minutes… He had grown up so much.  He was mature, kind, sweet, sensitive, patient, and understanding.  After that dinner everything changed.  There was no going back… I knew there was a reason we were brought together and I could see him as the man who would be in my life for a very long time.
 
The day we graduated from law school together.

The hardest part of our relationship was the long distance while I was in Los Angeles and J was in Denver.  It was so difficult to be away from each other… We tried every possible option and we finally decided that we had to try living out our relationship while in the same city.  We wanted to do normal things like go on walks, grocery shop, and take our dogs to the park.
 
Since I’ve been in Denver, J and I have gone through so much and have become so close.  He is my best friend and he always tells me that I’m his too.  We’ve learned so much about each other and about love, respect, commitment, and trust.  We challenge each other to be better people and we make a great team.


The Proposal

J and I are not good at surprises.  So… I was fairly certain we would get engaged, I just didn’t know when it would happen.

J gave me a letter on Monday night that explained I would be on a scavenger hunt on Tuesday.  I wasn’t allowed to text anyone, call anyone, or post on social media about my day.  When I arrived at each location, I had to send him a photo and he would send me another clue.  It was the perfect proposal for J and I… We are so playful and we love doing fun things to keep one another guessing.
 
I want to keep the clues/messages J sent to me private.  It was so special… Like our own private conversation all day long.  He put so much thought and love into each and every one.  I will never, ever forget those sweet messages and how wonderful they made me feel inside.
 
Our engagement day was honestly every girl’s dream; J made me feel like a princess.  His clues sent me to a morning of pampering… I got my nails done and I got a spray tan for a little glow.  After that, he told me to go shopping and pick out something new for that evening.  He had a beautiful bouquet of roses waiting for me at the florist’s.  Then I was instructed to go home and get ready for our afternoon.
 
His next clue sent me to the picturesque river rapids where we swam this summer.  After that, I was led to a pumpkin patch and corn maze outside the city… I have loved pumpkin patches since I was a little girl and my grandparents would take me every year.  J’s clue told me to go into the corn maze and take a photo… I sent it and waited anxiously for the next clue to ding.  When it finally did it read, “Get to the end of the maze.  Since you’re an Iowa girl you should know how to navigate a corn field!”
 
My heart was pounding and I was so flustered.  The employee told J most people take 45 minutes to finish the corn maze while I finished it in 20 minutes!  
 
I got to the end of the maze and I saw J standing there… I wasn’t sure if I went the right way or not, but I was so happy to see him after the long day of anticipation!  When I walked up to him, he touched my forehead and he told me I was bleeding!  One of the paper-thin cornstalks had brushed against my face and cut it… Of course, I was oblivious because I was so excited and anxious.
 
Then, as I was thinking about my forehead, J got down on one knee and my whole world spun… Honestly, the next 20 seconds went past like a blur.  He told me that he loved me and he wanted to navigate the maze of life with me.  He pulled the ring out of his shirt pocket and said, “Will you marry me?”  Ahhh!!  Those words just kept swirling in my mind and I saw my life flash forward to J as my husband.
 
I said, “Yes!!! Yes… Of course I will marry you.”  And he slid the most beautiful, sparkly, perfect ring onto my finger.
 
J stood up, and we hugged each other so tightly… I felt like I could faint at any second, I was so overwhelmed and happy.  I remember telling J I would love to spend the rest of my life with him and then I looked at my ring and told him it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.  All of a sudden I remembered my scratch and I asked him, “So wait, why am I bleeding?!”  It was all one big crazy, beautiful blur.


We picked out pumpkins to celebrate before heading home in total bliss.  Of course, our first duty was to call our family and let them know the good news.
 
That night, J took me to the restaurant Mizuna to celebrate.  I just kept staring at him and my ring throughout dinner.  Our waiter brought us celebratory champagne and I felt like we were in this warm, happy glow all night.

J was so good about taking photos with me and calling everyone and reading Facebook posts together.  I was so thankful he was a good sport.  Attention male readers: This is very important to your lady, so make sure you allow time for her to reach out to both your families and take all the photos she wants.

Also… To anyone planning on getting engaged sometime soon, try to focus on each and every second because the proposal passes so quickly (even if it lasts all day like mine!)  Everyone warned me about this, but it’s almost uncontrollable… All your thoughts and emotions are rushing and time seems to speed up.  Did any of you feel like this?!

I’m so glad I was able to share this exciting day with you!  It was the best day of my life and I still can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be blessed with a man like J.  I’m sure I’ll be asking you all for lots of advice in the future!


  1. Arielle says:
    October 10, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    omgosh congratulations!!! yay! and the ring is gorgeous!

  2. Sami says:
    October 10, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    Oh my gosh. I am tearing up over here! Seriously could this be any sweeter? Ever since we chatted at dinner I have been waiting for you to announce when it happened and I couldn't be happier for you! That ring is seriously stunning.. if I ever find a guy that wants to marry me I am sending him to J for tips! Congrats again lady and let's celebrate soon! xo

    • Miss B. Leigh says:
      October 10, 2013 at 2:37 pm

      I know!! It has been a long, twisted road but every second has been worth it. You will definitely find your Mr. Shenanigans and when you do I will send him straight to J 🙂 Celebrations sound perfect!! xoxo

  3. Shayna Yancey says:
    October 10, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Ahhh! I absolutely LOVE his proposal!! It is so incredibly sweet & well thought out! Congrats again girly! You so deserve it & y'all are absolutely adorable together!!

    & Yes, you're so right! It all happens so quickly that it's hard to wrap you mind around exactly what's going on! Such a crazy, exciting, amazing moment!!! Congratulations again!!

    • Miss B. Leigh says:
      October 16, 2013 at 6:07 pm

      Thanks!!! I couldn't believe he got the timing so perfectly… I was impressed!!

      I still can't believe it happened… As girls we prepare ourselves our whole life for that special moment and it flashes past in an instant!!

  4. Missy says:
    October 10, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Beautiful story, so happy for both of you. Congratulations again!

  5. Hannah, Here! says:
    October 10, 2013 at 3:58 pm

    Congratulations! What a sweet story!

  6. Jessica says:
    October 10, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    The sweetest engagement story I have heard in forever!! Lucky girl! And of course, lucky guy!! 🙂 Loved this!!!!

  7. AA29 says:
    October 10, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    Congratulations, wishing you all the best!

  8. Gene Clark says:
    October 10, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    Wow Brittany, I was smiling the whole time I was reading!!!!!!!!!!!:) Of course I had cold chills also!!!! I am truely sooooooooooooo happy for you and for J. He sounds like a wonderful man to spend the rest of your life with, and I am happy for him, because I know you will be a Wonderful Wife!!!! Enjoy all the plannings and everything that leads up to your very Special Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):)

    • Miss B. Leigh says:
      October 16, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      Awww I'm glad!!! We are both feeling so lucky and so unbelievably happy!! I hope I can be a great wife… I think I might need to brush up on my cooking skills a bit 🙂 I'm glad I was able to share this with you.

  9. Emmalee Kerber says:
    October 10, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    I smiled the whole time I was reading this. Thank you for allowing all of us to enjoy this very special day with you. Congratulations! I am so happy for the both of you!

  10. Kori says:
    October 11, 2013 at 1:26 am

    This is adorable friend! I'm so happy for you both…hoping to find what you have! Kori xoxo

  11. Monnique Arnold says:
    October 11, 2013 at 1:45 am

    Congratulations!! That was an amazing proposal and J sounds like a wonderful guy! I know you will have an amazing life together as you two have already had. Many blessings to you both!!

  12. Anonymous says:
    October 11, 2013 at 2:44 am

    B, I just cried reading your proposal! I love you both and I'm so happy to have witnessed you two falling in love over the years and I can't wait to hear about all of the planning!!

    -B. Byrnes-

    • Miss B. Leigh says:
      October 16, 2013 at 6:13 pm

      Aww Bre!!! We love you too… Thank you so much for always being a cheerleader for our relationship and joining in on FaceTime dates too!! 😉 Love you so much, girly. xoxoxo

  13. Sawyier says:
    October 11, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Congratulations Brittany! So exciting for both of you, sounds like you found a good one!

  14. Hannah @ Just Call Me HaHa says:
    October 14, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Congrats!!! What a great proposal! Your ring is gorgeous!

  15. Zelle Brown says:
    October 16, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    This is so sweet! Congratulations to you! I'm a new reader, so looking forward to following along!
    xo, Zelle
    A Southern Style